The Chief Constable's missus
Flat out on the floor
With her legs in the air
And her head out the door.
But I'd best not tell you
What she said, what I saw
But it sure beats the telly
And it's better than war.

There's a pub on the corner
"Ye Old Lost & Found"
So let your feet wander
And follow me round.

The pumps are full of magic
The barmaid's real hot
You can find what you're longing for
Lose what you're not.

There's a pub on the corner
"Ye Old Lost & Found"
And tonight, tonight
You can fly and not drown.

I've planned a revolution
I've nearly gone mad
I've sold all that's dear
But the beer's never bad.
I've took off me clothes
And I've broken me nose,
I've sung till they've booted me
Back to the "Rose"

CHORUS

I've had sex in the car park
Tears in the bogs
And the other way round
Coming back from the dogs.
I've kissed a hundred ugly barmaids
Lost two hundred fights
But I regret nothing
…Until it is light.

Take my hand
Hold me up
Push me home
Find my key.
I don't know you
But I love you
Come all live with me…

There's a pub on the corner
"Ye Old Lost & Found"
So let your feet wander
And follow me round.

The pumps are full of magic
The barmaid's real hot
You can find what you're longing for
Lose what you're not.

There's a pub on the corner
"Ye Old Lost & Found"
And tonight, tonight
You can fly and not drown.