Suzy and Johnny were happy
Earned enough to pay the rent
But Johnny's mother-in-law had too much ambition
And this made Johnny very upset
So to keep his little mama satisfied
He went and bought the weekly classified
All for peace and quiet's sake

Johnny gave up his position
Just to please his mother-in-law
So he left the job where he'd been all his life
He left and turned his back on door[?]

Now he's looking at the situations vacant
Situations vacant
Just to keep his little mama satisfied
He went and bought the weekly classified
All for peace and quiet's sake

Then he had to leave the apartment
And sought a less plush residence
And poor Suzy and Johnny had to skimp and save
Just to help to pay the weekly rent

So to keep his little mama satisfied
He went and bought the weekly classified
All for peace and quiet's sake

Johnny's got no money
Got no where to go
Johnny's in a great big hole
Suzy's separated, living with her ma
Now little mama's satisfied