Santa's coming and he's gonna kick your ass
he's gonna kick your ass
he's gonna kick your ass
Santa's coming and he's gonna kick your ass
'cause you've always been a rotten little brat

Reindeer coming and they're gonna bite your wreath
They're gonna chew your welcome mat
Swallow your kitty cat
Reindeer coming and they're gonna eat your begonia's
'cause Santa hasn't fed them in a month

Santa's coming and he's gonna kick your ass
he's gonna kick your ass
he's gonna kick your ass
Santa's coming and he's gonna kick your ass
'cause he's sick of shoveling snow and reindeer poo

Elves are coming and they're gonna steal your turkey
Wreck your TV
Burn down your Christmas tree
Elves are coming and they're gonna trash your home
'cause they ain't got nothing else to do

Santa's loaded with attitude
He's loud and drunk and smelly and rude
His workshop's been closed by an auditor
And Mrs. Claus ran off with her chiropractor.

Santa's coming and he's gonna kick your ass
he's gonna kick your ass
he's gonna kick your ass
Santa's coming and he's gonna kick your ass
'cause he's had a really crappy year