Quirrell:
You won't sleep on your tummy

Voldemort:
You won't sleep on your back

Both:
We're quite a kooky couple you'll agree

Quirrell:
We share some hands and fingers

Voldemort:
And yet the feeling lingers

Both:
We're just about as different
As anyone can be...

Voldemort:
You like plotting a garden
And I like plotting to kill

Quirrell:
You think that you should rule the world
I think books are a thrill!

Sipping tea by the fire is swell

Voldemort:
Pushing people in is fun as well!

I like folding all my ties

Quirrell:
And you have no friends
Hey, that's a surprise

Both:
I guess it's plain to see
When you look at you and me
We're different
Different
As can be

Voldemort:
You're a sissy, a twat, a girl!
I'm the darkest of lords!

Quirrell:
I'm the brightest professor here
I've won several awards

Voldemort:
My new world is about to unfold

Quirrell:
You got beat by a two year old

Voldemort:
I'll kill him this time through and through

Quirrell:
Or you might just give him another tattoo

Both:
You really must agree
When you look at you and me
We're different
Different
As can

Voldemort:
I'll rise again and I'll rule the world
But you must help me renew
For when our plan succeeds

Quirrell:
(Spoken) prevails!

Voldemort:
Part of that world goes to you

Quirrell:
When I rule the world, I'll plant flowers...

Voldemort:
When I rule the world, I'll have snakes...

Voldemort: (quirrell:)
And goblins, and werewolves
(And jane austin novels...)
A fleet of dementors
And giants, and thestrals
And all my death eaters!

Both:
When I rule the world!