(One, two, a one, two)

Just who the hell do you think you are?
I pay the light bill in this bar
Hey, what you mean you're gonna cut me off?
Just shut up and give me that beer I bought
I got no idea who took my keys
Or who put this lipstick on my cheek
I know I might come off whiskey-bent
You're probably thinkin' I'm three sheets to the wind

But I ain't as think as you drunk I am
Don't pay no mind to this mountain of crushed-up cans
No, I can't say my CBAs
But I can sing you every song that jukebox plays
And I know I can't stand or sit
But if I was hammered, could I dance like this?
Might have a cold one in each hand
But I ain't as think as you drunk I am

Honey, to be honest, I had me a few
And I mighta danced with a cowgirl or two
I might left my left boot at the bar
You might seen me layin' out in the yard

But I ain't as think as you drunk I am
Don't pay no mind to this mountain of crushed-up cans
No, I can't say my CBAs
But I can sing you every song that jukebox plays
Yeah, I know I can't stand or sit
But if I was hammered, could I dance like this?
Might have a cold one in each hand
But I ain't as think as you drunk I am

Well, I mighta started drinkin' at noon
But this honky tonk don't close till 2

And I ain't as think as you drunk I am
Don't pay no mind to this mountain of crushed-up cans
No, I can't say my CBAs
But I can sing you every song that jukebox plays
And I know I can't stand for shit
But if I was wasted, could I dance like this?
Might have a cold one in each hand
But I ain't as think as you drunk I am
Might have a cold one in all three hands
But I ain't as think as you drunk I am

May not be good as I once was
But I'm as good once as I ever was