Momma was an opium smoker
She light it with a red-hot poker
She would never take a bath
We would ask her, she'd just laugh
Because our momma was an opium smoker

She made it with a gentleman, Lincoln
They met on a boat, it was sinking
When she shoulda gone overboard
Momma say
"No way, oh my Lord
Only of opium smoke am I thinking?"

Oh help us Lord
We can't afford her destructive ways
You oughtta her hear what she says

She would just sit on her fat ass
Yell at us
"Fill up my wine glass"
She would tell us
"How sad
You won't ever know your dad"
Oh yeah, my momma was opium smoker

She hide the money and the drugs
Under the mattress
I wonder how long has she been at this?
And I say
"Mom, bang the gong
Can't you see, it's gone all wrong?"
Oh yeah, my momma was opium smoker