Cute drunk boys in gay bars
All the trouble they cause
They come onto you so bold
Get them home they pass out cold
You go to sleep, they start to snore
I can't put up with this any more

Oh no no, no no no, boyfriend wanted
Waited so long, how much more to go?

Frustrated, sitting at home
Life's too short to spend alone
So you throw some clothes on that tired body
Venture out'n try to meet somebody
But it's a temporary gain
To tide you over and keep you from going insane

My straight friends are having weddings
That's not where my life is heading
O drunken squalor, get thee behind me
But there's always some old trick there to remind me
I'm professionally single, you know
I'm so experienced that by now I'm a pro
Oh no no, no no no, boyfriend wanted
Waited so long, how much more to go?