You've been runnin' around with your head stuck in the air
Oh God, I never thought I'd meet someone who's quite so unaware
You wore the ear off me last night about all the arguments you've won
And I thought then and there, you're awful
I won't stop until you're done

I heard you're into tarot cards
I heard you're into flashy cars
You got a tattoo of Karl Marx paid for on daddy's credit card
I heard you met Keanu Reeves back on some spiritual retreat
Oh please, tell me more

I've been sent to catch you
And take you away
I put a beartrap in the bathroom
Now I sit here and wait
'Cause letting you loose, who knows what you'll do
Oh God, you're a pest and you must be stopped

(You must be, you must be)

You're a ketamine machine
You're a politician's dream
Never known a consequence
Only friends with apologists
In my nightmare blunt rotation
Quote Bukowski to your plaything
And I hate to interrupt

But I've been sent to catch you
And take you away
I got an order from the council
To put you in your place

I've been sent to catch you
And take you away
I put a beartrap in the bathroom
Now I sit here and wait
'Cause letting you loose, who knows what you'll do
Oh God, you're a pest and you must be stopped

(You must be, you must be)

If you've got one of these in your house
Call me and I'll, I will come get it out
If you've got one of these in your house
Call me and I'll, I will come get it out