I don't know anyone who learned a damn thing in high school
Or if they did, well ya know they sure didn't go to my school
It wasn't an education, it was anarchy
Better learn your station in the hierarchy

The values were ridiculous
It was survival of the prettiest
Whatever you do, don't be smart
They have more empathy in a vivisection laboratory

Stoners in the back of the class there like strange mutations
While jocks compare their notes on your reputation
Teachers weren't any better, they were often worse
I had to teach one you don't pronounce it burgee-oyse

The values were ridiculous
It was survival of the prettiest
A drama class backdrop
I've seen more compassion in a butcher shop

Chop chop chop
chop chop chop
chop chop chop
For all I learned in high school
I'd rather got a g.d. GED

In the middle of the tenth grade a new girl came to my school
And the rumor spread that she was from Hollywood
She had frizzy bleach blonde hair, tits out to here
She'd run away to LA but knew Hollywood sounded good

She'd me a pimp, they stole Corvettes
He put her on the Boulevard turning tricks
He beat her up so bad one night that she called the cops
Now pack her off to grandma's

Now all the boys in the tenth grade that went to my school
Were getting blow jobs while she made pocket change
Improbably, we became the best of friends
The bad girl and the virgin who acted strange

This story seems ridiculous
She was not the prettiest
But when you learn what the boys really want it makes you stop and think
Wham bam thank you ma'am

Bam bam bam
bam bam bam
bam bam bam
For all I learned in high school
I might as well have gone to night school