Everyone's trying to get it off faster
Supplement master, a fistful should work
Soup and the smoothies to combat disaster
Carbs don't burn fast enough for what it's worth
Didn't think I changed too much till they said it
A thread on Subreddit is what I'm reduced to
Needles to needlessly say it's the rapture
'Cause even I bite my nails wondering if I should

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, weight watchers
Hey, hey, hey, hey, are you watching me?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, weight watchers
Hey, hey, hey, hey, are you watching me?

How normal it is to contort and contract all my muscles
Remembering to still arch my back
And I Gua Sha each day, but my face still has fat
Someone told me their doctor could get rid of that
But I've already got a surgeon who knows me
Tonguing down anesthesia while he cut me
And implanted five hundred CC of sexy
I won't lie to you, that man really blessed me

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, weight watchers
Hey, hey, hey, hey, are you watching me?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, weight watchers
Hey, hey, hey, hey, are you watching me?

How normal it is to skip lunch and dessert
And yet somehow my stomach sticks out of my skirt
So I work out each day, but I don't think it works
So I research to see if the surgery hurts
Spent so many years being cute on the TV
Before I could blink, I became nearly thirty
And I got bigger boobs so that I could transcend it
Now all that I read is: Hey, I think she's pregnant!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, weight watchers
Hey, hey, hey, hey, are you watching me?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, weight watchers
Hey, hey, hey, hey, are you watching me?

(How normal it is to contort and contract) hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, weight watchers
(All my muscles, remembering to still arch my back) hey, hey, hey, hey, are you watching me?
(And I Gua Sha each day, but my face still has fat) hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, weight watchers
(Someone told me their doctor could get rid of that) hey, hey, hey, hey, are you watching me?