We want Freddie for our leader
Freddie is a man of class
We want Freddie for our leader
All stand and raise your champagne glass

Gentlemen and assassins and ladies of the night
I call upon you this evening in the hope of shedding some light
I can't go into detail or finger unfounded fools
But there are some here amongst us that are not playing to the rules

I've rounded up the low-life and local CID
Offered a free massage or else the third degree
There is no simple solution in this life we lead
So make things easy for yourself to the baronage concede

We want Freddie for our leader
Freddie is a man of class
We want Freddie for our leader
All stand and raise your champagne glass

Peace shall not prevail in Purley came the stark warning today
From his hospital bed Drip-Fed Fred vowed he was here to stay
"I'll tell you something for nothing", he claimed, "Never in all my days
Have I felt so intimidated by the cheap tactics on display"

Ahh-ah-ah-ah
Ahh-ah-ah-ah

We want Freddie for our leader
Freddie is a man of class
We want Freddie for our leader
All stand and raise your champagne glass

And approaching the pulpit, the Right Honourable Reverend Greene
"We're gathered here this evening to pay our due respects
To Drip-Fed Fred who late last night fell out of his prison bed
We know the nonce behind it, who slipped the night PD - ooh
The word is out now without doubt you will answer to me"

Gentlemen and assassins and ladies of the night
I call upon you this evening in the hope of shedding new light
There is a simple solution, one called honour amongst thieves
So we'll take pity on your souls and only cap your knees

Ahh-ah-ah-ah
Ahh-ah-ah-