You said it would be romantic
That moonlighting was the thing
Eloping in a ten year old van
Fixed with string
And after all the packing
Secrecy and fuss
We never got past Watford
And we had to come home by bus
Early to bed and off to work next day
My parents never even noticed
We'd been away
Chorus:
But don't say I didn't warn you
I told you so
You were too stubborn to listen
I said you'd come unstuck
I said you'd come unglued
You wouldn't listen to reason

A registry office marriage
I said was a mistake
Your mother laughed the whole time
And your brother cut the cake
I wanted priest and church
A proper white wedding
And a sober best man
Might not have lost the ring
Honeymoon in Norfolk
You went fishing all the time
In Majorca at least
We might have caught some sunshine

A home of our own
You turned do-it-yourself
I told you'd better be off
To leave it to somebody else
You did the plumbing
Now the cistern's upside down
The hot water's cold
And the cold water's brown
Then there was the other thing
You even got that wrong
Here we are with seven kids
And we only wanted one