Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done

You say either and I say either, You say neither and I
Say neither
Either, either Neither, neither, Let's call the whole
Thing off

You like potato and I like potahto, You like tomato
And I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, Tomato, tomahto, Let's call the whole
Thing off

But oh, if we call the whole thing off Then we must
Part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my
Heart

So if you like pyjamas and I like pyjahmas, I'll wear
Pyjamas and give up
Pyajahmas
For we know we need each other so we, Better call the
Whole off off
Let's call the whole thing off

You say laughter and I say larfter, You say after and
I say arfter
Laughter, larfter after arfter, Let's call the whole
Thing off

You like vanilla and I like vanella, You saspiralla
And I saspirella
Vanilla vanella chocolate strawberry, Let's call the
Whole thing off

But oh if we call the whole thing of then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my
Heart

So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters, I'll
Order oysters and cancel
The ersters
For we know we need each other so we, Better call the
Calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off

I say father, and you say pater, I saw mother and you
Say mater
Pater, mater Uncle, auntie, let's call the whole thing
Off

I like bananas and you like banahnahs, I say Havana
And I get Havahnah
Bananas, banahnahs Havana, Havahnah, Go your way, I'll
Go mine

So if I go for scallops and you go for lobsters, So
All right no contest we'll
Order lobseter
For we know we need each other so we, Better call the
Calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off