Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees
And begged you not to leave because I'd go berzerk?
Well, you left me anyhow and the days got worse
And worse and now you see I've gone completely out of my mind

And They're coming to take me away, Ha! Ha!
They're coming to take me away, Ho! Ho! He! He! Ha! Ha!
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time,
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away, Ha! Ha!

You thought it was joke and so you laughed,
You laughed when I had said that losing
You would make me flip my lid, right?
You know you laughed, I heard you laugh,
You laughed, you laughed and laughed and then
You left, but now you know I'm utterly mad

And they're coming to take me away, Ha! Ha!
They're coming to take me away, Ho! Ho! He! He! Ha! Ha!
To the happy home with trees and flowers
And chirping birds and basket weavers who sit
And smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away, Ha! Ha!

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house,
And this is how you paid me back for all
My kind unselfish loving deeds, Huh?
Well you just wait they'll find you yet, and when they do
They'll put you in the ASPCA you mangy mutt

And They're coming to take me away, Ha! Ha!
They're coming to take me away, Ho! Ho! He! He! Ha! Ha!
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice men in their clean white coats

They're coming to take me away, Ha! Ha!
To the happy home with trees and flowers
And chirping birds and basket weavers who sit
And smile and twiddle thier thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away, Ha! Ha!

Your home the one the bank foreclosed,
You cried to me Monogamy is the way
We both must live or you'll feel hurt
But, I see, I see there's someone new,
Your anxious poly-pure-bred coat was even gone
At our place while I paid the rent, thanks!

And They're coming to take me away, Ha! Ha!
They're coming to take me away, Ho! Ho! He! He! Ha! Ha!
To the loony bin with all you can eat
Perscription drugs like torizine,
And lithium, and electric shock eels
They're coming to take me away, Ha! Ha!