I was raised on Black & Tans
Ronnie Drew and 'Van the Man'
I go off to mass on Sunday
And then it's back to the pub on Monday
I've got a sister Meghan
With a Celtic cross tattoo
I'll tell you a few stories
And every one of them is true

My mother's brother's sister's cousin's auntie's
Uncle Barney's father's brother had a cousin from Killarney

My great-granddad and his mates
They tried to make it to the States
His great uncle, he was a failure
He got deported off to Australia
So they stowed upon a steamer
On the famous White Star Line
I was raised upon these stories
Since I was the age of nine

My mother's brother's sister's cousin's auntie's
Uncle Barney's father's brother had a cousin from Killarney

Well my great-uncle, he liked the races
He liked the dogs and steeplechases
His wife, my dear old auntie
She kept a teashop way, way down in Bantry
But he fixed a race in Donegal
And now he's got to hide
With the sticky buns and cakes and guns
And whiskey on the side

My mother's brother's sister's cousin's auntie's
Uncle Barney's father's brother had a cousin from Killarney

I was raised on Black & Tans
Ronnie Drew and 'Van the Man'
I go to mass on Sunday
And then it's back to the pub on Monday
I'm from the wrong side of the south side
Of an Irish neighbourhood
I've never been to Ireland
But I know it's in my blood

My mother's brother's sister's cousin's auntie's
Uncle Barney's father's brother had a cousin from Killarney

Well, my mother's brother's sister's cousin's auntie's
Uncle Barney's father's brother's sister's auntie had a cousin from Killarney