Keep your children in a coma
Keep your children in a coma
Keep your children in a coma
Starting today!

Life is hard for kids today
They have to program everything
Dude, they have to use computers
Just to sing

If you keep them dosed on soma
You can spare them all their pain
Keep your children in a coma
And stay sane

You can't let them go to school
For fear of bullying little beasts
And you can't take them to church
For fear of priests

You can never really know-ma
If there motives remain pure
Keep your children in a coma
And be sure

All that background radiation
Oil companies run bad
Party politics amuck
Good girls gone bad

They would just get melanoma
If they surfed in see-through jeans
Keep your children in a coma
Through their teens

Little caleb and valoma
Would be drugged up anyway
Keep your coma
Starting today

Keep your children in a coma
Keep your children in a coma
Keep your children in a coma
Starting today!

Keep your children in a coma
Keep your children in a coma
Keep your children in a coma
Starting today!