i think i'll try my luck at flo and normandie
and have some dude beat the living crap out of me
he haunts me, he taunted me
and i just found out he's been set free.

so i'll go and tell my girlfriend i think she's ugly
we've had a few kids and she's getting kinds pudgy
i'll tease her, i'll please her,
then i'm gonna leave her
and i'll go and find me a new girl until she bugs me.

because they know i want you, know i need you,
no i won't go a day without you
and only you can know what you're doing to me
...so good afternoon.

i think i'll go and take my snake down for animal testing
where they lay me down and inject me while i'm resting.
they starve me, carve me, stitch me up,
and when i wake up with cancer - they give me their blessing.

you and i, we shine and i feel you coming down my way
...so good afternoon.

i like to get laid so i became a musician
and i'm an expert in humanity by my own admission -
i'm kind, i'm signed, i'm a legend in my own mind