Christmas celebration
And all around the nation
Won't you stay with me tonight cause
I'm running out of fight
And the pagentry is such a bore

Carolers are singing
Registers Ka-chinging
And the presents are in place
But I'd rather eat some mace
'Cause the eggnog always makes me sick

You know how the story goes
You've seen it all before
That man is so obese that he can't get out the door

Christmas to perfection
I'm begging for some action
And the ringing in my ears
Is the sound of Christmas cheer
And they've knocked me screaming overboard

You know how the story goes
You've seen it all before
That man is so obese that he can't get out the door

Christmas celebration
And all around the nation
Won't you stay with me tonight cause
I'm running out of fight
And the pagentry is such a bore

And the pagentry is such a bore (x4)