Well, he's trying to survive up on Mulholland Drive
He's got the phone in the car in his hand
Everybody's trying to be a friend of mine
Even a dog can shake hands

He wants twenty per cent 'cause he knew you back when
Now they all want a piece of the band
Everybody's trying to be a friend of mine
Even a dog can shake hands

All the worms and the gnomes are having lunch at Le Dome
They're all living off the fat of the land
Everybody's trying to be a friend of mine
Even a dog can shake hands

Sign Page 42
We'll do the rest for you
Find a way to make it pay
Don't lose your head
You'll end up dead
Or you'll be living in the Valley someday

Abandon all hope and don't rock the boat
And we'll all make a few hundred grand
Everybody's trying to be a friend of mine
Even a dog can shake hands

You'll be making the scene 'til they pick your bones clean
No, they don't leave much for the fans
Everybody's trying to be a friend of mine
Even a dog can shake hands

Sign Page 42
We'll do the rest for you
Find a way to make it pay
Don't lose your head
You'll end up dead
Or you'll be living in the Valley someday