Make it like that famous country singer
Or that guy I saw last night on Jerry Springer
Clean me up but let me keep my edge,
In the day i like to keep it dignified
But at night you know I got another side
And I don't give a damn,
Cause I am what I am
Even if it's really really bad.

I've got an Ape Drape,
Yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone,
And that means you
You can drive to Riverside and get one too
Then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do.

Go ahead and buzz 'round the ears
I've been growing that one braid back there for years
I've had it since the first time I saw Queensryche
The front may conform to society
But the back says I have personality
Even if it's really really,
Even if it's really really bad.

I've got an Ape Drape,
Yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone,
And that means you
You can drive to Riverside and get one too
Then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do.

Make it short in the front and long in the back!
If the top's not short enough that it stands up
I could be thrown out of the Bad Boy Club
But don't you lay a finger on my pony tail
Now fix my kid up so he looks like me,
And then matching crazy pants are all we need
Some may call it child abuse
I just call it bonding with your Dad.

Norce Neck Warmer......Norco
Hockey Hair.......Canada
Achey-Breaky Hair......Nashville
Mullet.......Hoboken
Forbidden Hair......Europe
Shom......Florida