If you wanna be a bad boy with a motorbike (Ask Mr Jones)
If you wanna just do them, all the things you like (Ask Mr Jones)
He's rotten, he don't wear cotton
Come on, come on

When you feel like hitting him but you don't know how (Ask Mr Jones)
When you need to just have a hit, and you need it now (Ask Mr Jones)
He's scary, his back's hairy
Come on, come on

There's a black Achilles in a water bed ]
And around his head is a ring of fire ] (Chorus)

If you wanna have a girlfriend, but not for long (Ask Mr Jones)
If you wanna just have her and you think it's wrong (Ask Mr Jones)
He's crazy, his eye's lazy
Come on, come on

(Chorus)

And now you're waiting for him to appear (Ask Mr Jones)
And you're dying for a heaven and the way is clear (Ask Mr Jones)
He's dirty, he gets all shirty
Come on, come on

(Chorus)