'Ah, misses mcgrath', the sergeant said
'Would you like to make a soldier out of your son ted
With a scarlet coat and a big cocked hat
And misses mcgrath, wouldn't you like that?
Wid yer toori al fol the diddle ah
Toori oori oori ah
Wid yer toori al fol the diddl eah
Toori oori oori ah

Well mrs mcgrath lived by the seashore
For the space of seven long years or more
Till she saw a big ship sailing into the bay
'Here's my son ted, will ye clear the way?'
'Ah captain dear, and where have you been?
Have you been in the mediterranean?
Will ye tell me the news of my son ted?
Is the poor lad living now or is he dead?'

Ah, well up comes ted without any legs
And in their place he had two wooden pegs
Well she kissed him a dozen times or two
Saying: 'glory be to God, sure it couldn't be you'
'Ah then were ye drunk or were ye blind
That ye left yer two fine legs behind?
Or was it while walking on the sea
A big fish ate yer legs from the knees away?'

'Well I wasn't drunk and I wasn't blind
When I left my two fine legs behind
But a big cannonball on the fifth of may
Flow my two fine legs from the knees away'
'Ah teddy me boy', the poor widow cried
'Yer two fine legs were yer mummy's pride
Them old stumps of a tree wouldn't do at all
Why didn't ye run for the big cannonball?'

'Well all foreign wars I do proclaim
Between don john and the king of spain
And by herrings I'll make them rue the time
That they shot the legs from a child of mine'