I was supposed to be sent away
But they forgot to come and get me
I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody
Noticed my new aesthetic

All of this to say: I hope you're okay
But you're the reason
And no one here's to blame
But what about your quiet treason?

And for a fortnight, there we were, forever
Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather
Now, you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors
Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her

All my mornings are Mondays
Stuck in an endless February
I took the miracle move-on drug
The effects were temporary

And I love you, it's ruining my life (I love you, it's ruining my life)
I touched you for only a fortnight (I touched you), but I touched you

And for a fortnight, there we were, forever
Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather
Now, you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors
Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her

And for a fortnight, there we were together
Run into you sometimes, comment on my sweater
Now, you're at the mailbox, turned into good neighbors
My husband is cheating, I wanna kill him

I love you, it's ruining my life (I love you, it's ruining my life)
I touched you for only a fortnight (I touched you), I touched you
I love you, it's ruining my life (I love you, it's ruining my life)
I touched you for only a fortnight (I touched you), I touched you

Thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up
‘Nother fortnight lost in America
Move to Florida, buy the car you want
But it won't start up till you touch, touch, touch me

Thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up
‘Nother fortnight lost in America
Move to Florida, buy the car you want
But it won't start up till I touch, touch, touch you