The union of a woman and a man
Touching for the very first time
The gentle texture of a hand
True love is always hard to find

And sometimes my penis ain’t as hard as wood
And sometimes you’re disappointed in my manlihood
I can’t take it, please
Fake it for me

The delicate nature of love
Can only make this relationship grow
And though it’s sent from heaven above
Things don’t always work down below

And I know – that the porno movies make you feel cheap
And sometimes you finish while I’m fast asleep
I can’t take it, please
Fake it for me

I try so hard to be a man, but
You’re so damn hard to please
Doesn’t help to know your best friend
Runs on batteries
I can’t take it, please
Fake it for me

Even though my love’s a little premature
When you call me Mr. Softee, I get...insecure
I can’t take it
Please, fake it
For me