You can look this wide world over,
You can search both land and sea,
but you'll never find another man like me.
If you listen to my story I will tell you who I am,
I'm the greatest man in Siam, yes I am.
I'm the greatest man in Siam, yes I am.
There's no greater man in Siam than I am.
Oh, when I go walking by the women all give me the eye,
I'm the greatest man in Siam, yes I am.
Oh no you ain't! Oh yes I am!
Oh no you ain't! Oh yes I am!
I'm the greatest man in Siam, yes I am.
Why, I've got sixteen double chins,
I'm father of Siamese twins,
I'm the greatest man in Siam, yes I am.

I'm the fastest man in Siam, yes I am.
There's no faster man in Siam than I am.
Lightning don't scare me a bit,
'Cause I can dodge before I'm hit.
I'm the fastest man in Siam, yes I am.
Oh no you ain't! Oh yes I am!
Oh no you ain't! Oh yes I am!
I'm the fastest man in Siam, yes I am.
When I call on my sweetheart,
I get there long before I'm start.
'Cause I'm the fastest man in Siam, yes I am.

I'm the richest man in Siam, yes I am.
There's no richer man in Siam than I am.
I wear diamonds on my nose,
and platinum toe nails on my toes.
I'm the richest man in Siam, yes I am.
Oh no you ain't! Oh yes I am!
Oh no you ain't! Oh, what's happening?
I'm the richest man in Siam, yes I am.
I've got castles filled with gold,
liquor 99 years old,
I'm the richest man in Siam, yes I am.