The song I'm going to sing to you,
Is sad and that ain't half.
You're not supposed to cry
Until I tell you when to laugh.

I knew a girl in Kansas,
Her name was Lucy Brown.
She tried to swim the river,
But she waterlogged and drowned.
Now laugh! Hahaha! Now laugh! Hahaha!
You're not supposed to cry
Until I tell you when to laugh.

My brother climbed a quince tree
To pick himself a quince.
He ate the quince and puckered up,
And we aint seen brother since.
Now laugh! Hahaha! Now laugh! Hahaha!
You're not supposed to cry
Until I tell you when to laugh.

An old man down in our town,
His name was uncle Seth,
He caught his neck in a well rope,
and he jumped himself to death!
Now laugh! Hahaha! Now laugh! Hahaha!
You're not supposed to cry
Until I tell you when to laugh.

There are two silly sapheads,
Across the briny sea.
They think they're going to mess us up in 1943.
Now laugh! Hahaha! Now laugh! Hahaha!
You're not supposed to cry...
(Various laughter)