Yeah, I'll admit
I've had sex before marriage
I've smoked hella weed
And then I shared it
Yeah, I confess
I've scrolled through Pornhub
I've had impure thoughts
And acted upon them

So if the pearly gates
Won't open up for me
At least I know
There's somewhere else I can go

Thank God
Thank God for making a Hell
Thank God for making a place full of fire
And greedy-ass liars
Where I'm just like everyone else
Thank God for Hell

Yeah, I'll admit
My mind's a bit dirty
Only go to church
If somebody's forced me
Yeah, I confess
I say some bad words
And I haven't yet, but I bet
I'll get a divorce

So if the pearly gates
Won't open up for me
At least I know
There's somewhere else I can go

Thank God
Thank God for making a Hell
Thank God for making a place full of fire
And greedy-ass liars
Where I'm just like everyone else
Thank God
Thank God for knowing me well
Thank God for making a place I can smoke
And tell fucked up jokes
Eternally just be myself
Thank God for Hell
Thank God for Hell

If the pearly gates
Won't open up for me
Fuck 'em

Thank God
Thank God for making a Hell
Thank God for making a place full of fire
And greedy-ass liars
Where I'm just like everyone else
Thank God
Thank God for knowing me well
Thank God for making a place I can smoke
And tell fucked up jokes
Eternally just be myself
Thank God for Hell