Mistress said "I love you Chris"
Can't stand to see you kill yourself like this
He's talking on the car phone
From the driveway of his own home

Chris is running from the FBI
He's been indicted as a foreign spy
He tells her on his car phone
He thinks they're both alone

Talking, talking
Talking, talking, talking on the car phone

I stole a million fake Nintendo chips
But never let it cross your lips
That I told you on the car phone
Or they'll write it on my gravestone

I'm gonna help you get that acting job
Got you a lawyer from the mob
He tells her on his car phone
Sends a shiver up her backbone

Chorus

And if there's anyone in space
What they'll learn about the human race
Will be from listening to us
Talking on the car phone

Hitman dials a secret code
Receiver in the trunk explodes
As he calls him on his car phone

Orange flames across the center line
You can see it on the news at nine
He really got his mind blown

And if there's anyone in space
What they'll learn about the human race
Will be from listening to us
Talking on the car phone