Oh, ring, ring
Pick up the phone
Ring, ring
Is anybody home?
Well I've only got one call
Before they take me down the hall

Oh, this is just a big ol' mess
They're trying to get me to confess
But right now I plead the fifth
I'm not even sure what I did

But I've been on my best behavior
Honestly, I don't remember

But there was something 'bout a pool stick
Something 'bout a fat lip
Something 'bout lipstick on my boyfriend's collar
A few choice words I apparently hollered
In a public place
Somebody got a drink in the face
They said I had to be escorted out
Well I don't even know what they're talking about

'Cause I've been on my best behavior
Honestly, I don't remember

Ring, ring
Pick up the phone
Ring, ring
Is anybody home?
Well I ain't staying here tonight
Well, I mean, what about my rights?

Have you seen this ugly orange suit?
It don't even match my boots
Just who they think they are
Oh, I didn't even hit her that hard

Well, I've been on my best behavior
And honestly, I don't remember

But there was something 'bout a bar stool
Something 'bout a broke tooth
Well, I swear I don't even know no linda
Or how her chair got thrown through the window
Just look at me
I couldn't hurt a flea
You know, I'm only five foot two
Even in my high heel boots

Plus, I've been on my best behavior
Honestly, I don't remember

Oh, y'all, I've been on my best behavior
Honestly, I don't remember

Ring, ring (ring, ring)
I said ring, ring (ring, ring)
Ring, ring
Is anybody home?
Anybody?
Y'all gon' come pick me up, right?
Come on
Please?