Walkin' down to Denver town
I watched the western sun go down.
Thought that I would stop a while,
Switch around my TV dial.
Got some free Tee Vee . . . Only price was a little boredom.

Well, I'm not sure about my taste
But it seemed that TV land was a waste.
I saw 30 Westerns, 30 Private Eyes, 30 doctors operated before my eyes.
None of the operations was successful, though . . . It's hard to operate
with so much violence around.

Well, every few minutes they'd take a break
For a profound message on a stomach ache.
They sold cures for dandruff, milk from the farm
Perfume for my underarms.
I've had enough . . . I'm stickin' to greasy kid stuff.

Well, the blood and gore was upon the floor
And I couldn't hardly stand no more,
So I walked outside to get some air.
A theater owner was standing there:
Carryin' a picket sign . . . Said Pay TV was un-American.

He said