Hey, have you heard the latest from Big Bird?
It sounds ridiculous, get a load of this
He says he has a friend only known to him
He calls him Aloysius Snuffleupagus
Apparently when no one's watching
Is when the two get to talking

He says he's big and hairy, but not the least bit scary
With great big lazy eyes, he swaggers side to side
And has a longish nose, and walks a little slowly
A peculiar invention, even for Mr. Henson
Which makes me think, though I hate to say it
That the creature is fabricated

No, I don't believe he really does exist
Because I've never seen this Snuffleupagus
It's all in the big bird's brain
And besides, what kind of name is Snuffleupagus?

I talked to Bert and Ernie, Cookie Monster's worried
Kermit the Frog agrees "it's just a tragedy"
Someone should check that bird, take his temperature
Maybe he took a fall, or drugs or alcohol
Or maybe Big Bird has some problems
Well, if he does, hey, we all got 'em
But that does not mean that we all should get
Our own imaginary, hairy psychologist

No, I don't believe he really does exist
Because I've never seen this Snuffleupagus
It's all in the big bird's brain
And besides, what kind of name is Snuffleupagus?

I mean no ill intentions, but perhaps an intervention
Is what our bird friend needs to restore his sanity
So you round up the crew and I'll go see how he's doing
Here he comes as a matter of fact
Hey, did you see THAT?

No, I don't believe he really does exist
Because I don't think I've seen this Snuffleupagus
But hey, I'm open-minded
Let's say I'm undecided