There was a naked man standing in an alley
And he weren't wearing no clothes
A naked man was standing in an alley
And he weren't wearing no clothes
He said, all I need I do believe
Is a pair of black dress shoes
(That's all a naked man really needs)

There was a red light lady on the corner
Look like the richest woman in the world
A red light lady was standing on the corner
Looking like the richest woman in the world
She had a fine fur coat upon her back
And a string of cultured pearls
(Cultured pearls is the kind that sips tea and reads lots of poetry)

There was a man found hanging in a jail cell
And they said it was suicide
A man was found hanging in a jail cell
And they told me it was suicide
Now you can blame the social system
But I still say it was his necktie

Necktie

Now when I die won't you bury me
In a pair of black dress shoes
Put a fine fur coat upon my back
Put a string of cultured pearls too
St Peter will be so proud to have a woman like me
Come and see him when I die
And you know that they won't keep me out of them Pearly Gates
'Cause I'll be sure to wear my necktie