Who wipes me off when I spill gravy on my shirt
Who knows exactly where to kiss me when I hurt
And who'll make love to me in satin sheets or in the dirt
You babe you're my bestest friend

Who takes me home when I get too drunk to dance
Who bravely puts up with my uncles and my aunts
And who discretely whispers I forgot to zip my pants
You babe you're my bestest friend

Who comes down to bail me out when I get in a jam
And helps me tell the police where I live and who I am
And who pats my back when no one else could give a damn
You babe you're my bestest friend

Who can be as gentle as a sparrow in my hand
Or meaner than a junk yard dog when she's fighting for her man
And who's the only one I'll ever love or understand
You babe you're my bestest friend
I'm talking about you babe you're my bestest friend