Hey, old man, how many times we gotta tell ya
We don't want none, but where you been so long?
Hey, girl, come on over
That'll be just fine

If it ain't workin', take a whiz on the world
An entire nation drinkin' from a dirty cup
My best friend's long gone, but I got runner ups

When I'm walkin' my head is practically draggin'
All I ever see is just a whole lotta dirt
My whole life's been one long running gag
Two packs of red apples for the long ride home
Well, you know, baby

Sick of walkin' so you took a wrong way train
Then you sat down and couldn't get up
My best friend's long gone but I got runner ups
My best friend's long gone but I got runner ups
I don't know if it's real, but it's how I feel
Don't know if you really came, but I feel dumb in askin'
You shoulda been an actress, you so domineering
Take two white gold earrings for your troubles now

When it's looking dark, punch the future in the face
Instead of standing, I'm running around
The sharpest tool in school don't even know what's up
My best friend's long gone but I got runner ups