(spoken) i remember when i rode into town that morning in
December of forty-eight. oh, bitter cold. i had on my parka, my
Sheepskin coat and my brown and white spectator pumps. cut quite
A figure if i do say so. huh, cute. first thing i spied was a
Poster. there's going to be a dance. the second hogsville
Dandy-steppin' ball and frog happin; contest. drag.

Chorus:
Strange day. strange day. strange day in hogsville, u. s. a.

I'm goin' to start off but there weren't no lady folk in sight.
I figured they was all up a-primpin' for the dance and, being a
Man of no small charms with the ladies myself, i decided to park
Old paint and change my socks -- from him to me. (i find that
Extremely offensive!) so did old paint.

But there were no gals for miles around, not one gal in the
Whole darn town.
So, if you want to go dancin', just look around for the next
Best thing that can befound.

(chorus)

That's right. i soon found there wasn't no women nowhere.
Fellows goin' to the dance was takin' some of the strangest
Things. one was takin' a broom, all dressed up in a pinafore,
Bleached straws, looked kinda cheap to me. another was totin' a
Picture of a girl. he'd been goin' with that picture so long he
Thought real girls folded in the middle. now i was getting
Depressed, but then i spied the cutest little thing you ever
Saw, givin' me the eye from underneath the waterin' trough. had
Little eyes, curly tail, and the dearest little pointed ears you
Ever seen. i grabbed her paw (what'd her paw have to say? shut up
When he's a-talkin'!) and we wobbled into the dance. the minute
We get into the dance the music stopped and a feller said,
"wait a minute! that's the sheriff's gal!" (you mean?)

Strange day. strange day. strange day in hogsville, (you know, i
Can still hear the little critter) u. s. a!