When I became of age my mama sat me down
Said "Son, you've grown up, it's time you look around"
So I began to notice some things I hadn't seen before
That's what brought me here knockin' on your back door
Oh, yeah

A closet queen, the bus stop fiend, she wants to shake my hand
I don't want to be there, she decides she can
It's Apple Dan, he's just the man to pick fruit off your branches
I can't sleep, and we can't keep his cattle off my ranches
Oh, yeah

It's too strong, something's wrong and I guess I lost the feelin'
I don't mind the games you play, but I don't like your dealin'
The cards look bad, the luck's been had and there's nothin' left to smoke
Will I be back tomorrow for the punchline of the joke?