[Verse:]
When the Sultan goes out on a spree
He presents me with the harem key
Ev'ry Turk in Turkey envies me
For I've got the best job in Turkey

[Refrain:]
I'm the guy who guards the harem
When the Sultan goes away
I'm a conscientious Turk and my heart is in my work
The Sultan tells me that I earn my pay
While he's gone I keep them happy
And it keeps the wheels a-working in my knob
If the Sultan ever saw the way I guard his harem, he
Would go out and engage someone to stand guard over me
I'm the guy who guards the harem
And I wouldn't take a million for my job