[Charlie]
Come on in, here's your key
Let me take your bag, wait till you see
The hotel, 'cause it's great
If you parked your car, we'll validate
All our guests are family

[Angel Dust]
Hey, perv, hands off the chest fluff

[Charlie]
That's the Hazbin guarantee
And did I mention it's free?

[Alastor]
It's worth the price

[Vaggie]
Al, be nice

[Husk]
Full of drunks

[Cherri]
Full of cuntsf

[Niffty]
Full of sticky floors covered in junk

[Charlie]
Ha, don't mind them

[Angel Dust]
No one does

[Charlie]
Or that hole

[Vaggie and Cherri Bomb]
Ugh, Cherri
What?

[Charlie]
You've made a great choice to save your soul
'Cause redemption is possible, I really, really hope
'Cause if it isn't, then my whole life's been a fuckin' joke
And my friend died for no reason and I'm never gonna cope
From watching him get fucking murdered right in front of me last month

[Baxter]
What?
[Charlie]
There's a bar

[Husk]
What the shit?

[Charlie]
Have a beer

[Baxter]
I don't drink

[Charlie]
I just know you're gonna love it here

[Charlie and Vaggie]
We can live in harmony

[Husk]
No, I can't make a fucking Mai Tai

[Charlie and Vaggie]
That's the Hazbin guarantee

[Charlie and Visitantes do hotel]
Now repeat after me
I'm checkin' in (I'm checkin' in)
I'm seekin' guidance (I'm seekin' guidance), come on, everybody
For my reckonin' (For my reckonin')
I'll never turn to violence (I'll never turn—)
I'm checkin' in (I'm checking in)
I'm seekin' guidance

[Visitante do hotel]
That place sucked ass

[Vox]
Psst, hey, you

[Visitante do hotel]
Who? Me?

[Vox]
That's right, baby

[Vox]
Redemption got you snoring? That scene was fucking boring
Have you considered a vocation that is more rewarding?
Because I sense a drop of star potential
With a little boost, that drip could turn torrential

[Velvette]
Come on down to Vee Tower where we have talent flower

[Valentino]
No tellin' how hot you could get once you're backed by our power

[Velvette]
Let's start with a killer fit, let's get filler in those lips

[Valentino]
Wax that gooch and pull that strip

[Valentino and Velvette, Velvette]
A-snip, snip, snip
Ooh, all of Hell's gonna want you
In this game, no one outdoes us
No one can outbuzz us

[Valentino, Velvette and Vox]
All you gotta do is trust us
(La-la-la) Just us
(La-la-la) Trust us

[Vox]
Take all these starring roles

[Valentino]
We trademarked all your holes

[Vox and Valentino]
There's no such thing as being totally over-exposed

[Velvette]
Except now they're sick of you 'cause they've seen way too much
But we'll still get the clicks from souls who hate you

[Vox]
Scratch that, they changed the channel
And we can't sell the scandal
Hope you had fun, but we are done with you
Your run has cancelled
We're finished, I'm not kidding
Get the fuck out of my building
Get the fuck out of my building

[Valentino and Velvette, Valentino]
Snip, snip, snip, bitch
Ooh, but if you know someone
You tell 'em that no one outdoes us
No one can outbuzz us
All they gotta do is—

[Charlie, Vox, Valentino and Velvette]
Come on in (Come on down to Vee Tower)
Here's your key

[Charlie, Vox, Valentino and Velvette]
And see how great your afterlife could be

[Charlie]
We can live in harmony

[Valentino and Velvette]
Why be nice when you can be famous?

[Charlie]
That's the Hazbin

[Vox, Valentino and Velvette]
Sign and cash in

[Charlie]
Guarantee

[Vox]
Yeah, right, bitch
Trust me, just me
Trust—

[Vox]
Us, no, I—
I meant to say us

[Velvette]
Uh-huh

[Valentino]
Yeah, okay