On a Tuesday afternoon
My mum came in my room
And said, "Get the fuck up out of bed and get a God damn job."
So I told her, "Hey hey. Fuck you mom."
And I threw the phone at her head but I missed and hit her in
snatch
So I slammed the door in her face
Don't ever march in my room
Or I'll kick your ass and call the cops
And tell them I'm abused
And you'll wind up in jail
While I snowboard in Vail
No-one to post your bail.
'Cause daddy loves me more.
He says that you're a...

Chorus

You're worthless, you're lazy, you're stupid.
A little overweight.
Now give me 20 bucks.
Mummy you're so worthless, you're lazy, you're stupid.
A little overweight.
Now give me 20 bucks, no make it 50 bucks.

Now mum writes me letters.
I write return to sender
Let her rot there in her cell.
I watched the dogs mate on her bed.
Sorry mom
I had to pawn
The China, silver, and all your jewelry.
I had to eat and rent a bunch of prostitues like you!

Chorus

No make it 60 bucks, make it 75. Why don't you just give me
your whole God damn purse I hope you're having fun rotting
in jail. Maybe I'll come visit you. Nah!

Enjoy your stretch in jail.