Welcome, mighty heroes, into this ancient land
A kingdom steeped in legendary splendor
From the mighty Highlands to the shores of Auchtertool
A shining realm of unicorn defenders

And in the ancient castle
Atop his golden throne
The king of Fife rules over
His great ancestral home

By the holy flaming hammer
Of unholy cosmic frost
We will voyage 'cross the kingdom
To reclaim what once was lost
In this realm of ancient battles
Where the king of Fife now reigns
I will wield the holy hammer of flame
Unholy cosmic frost!

In the merchant's district, the dwarves of Aberdeen
Are forging artifacts of mighty power
Meanwhile in the college, where wizards learn their spells
A fireball is blasting from a tower

Behold the knights of Crail
Atop the city walls
They swore a mighty oath to say
Dundee will never fall!

By the holy flaming hammer
Of unholy cosmic frost
We will voyage 'cross the kingdom
To reclaim what once was lost
In this realm of ancient battles
Where the king of Fife now reigns
I will wield the holy hammer of flame
Unholy cosmic frost!

Across the infinite void of time and space
From a twisted dimension of shattered reality
The dying screams of a malevolent sorcerer materialized
And terrible were the words they spoke

Sanctus!
Dominus!

Initiating interdimensional subspace relay
Incoming transmission
Activate Zargothrax clone alpha 1

Geminus!
Thaumaturgist rise!

Upgrading nuclear subroutines
Powering up anti-telharsic nanobots
Assignment: Destroy Dundee!

Duplexus!
Maleficus!
Chaos lord reborn!

By the holy flaming hammer
Of unholy cosmic frost
We will voyage 'cross the kingdom
To reclaim what once was lost

By the holy flaming hammer
Of unholy cosmic frost
We will voyage 'cross the kingdom
To reclaim what once was lost
In this realm of ancient battles
Where the king of Fife now reigns
I will wield the holy hammer of flame
Unholy cosmic frost!

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1