Calling all Americans of above-average intelligence
College graduates, apply today
Come decimate dictatorships and overthrow regimes
In exotic far-off places the vacation of your dreams
You'll assemble puppet governments and play the hand of God
We're an equal-opportunity crime fighting squad

Citizen C.I.A.
Citizen C.I.A.

Now I've trained an army for my kids to fight one day
We'll teach them all of our secrets and then we'll walk away
We're knee-deep in guerillas, yeah the party never stops
United States of America undercover cop

Citizen C.I.A.
Citizen C.I.A.

Five weeks paid vacation and a 401K

Citizen C.I.A.
Citizen C.I.A.

They said I'd be workin' with Sydney, man this sucks!