Monterey Jack woke up in his shack on a Monday
Monterey Jack had a little bitty snack of some elderberry wine
Monterey Jack walked down the track, all the way to ol' Harley's shack
Stuck his knife in ol' Harley's back
And they say that's the way ol' Harley Davison died

1...2...3...4...

Ol' Jack Hoff was gettin' off in a doorway
Ol' Jack Hoff was gettin' off with little Sarah Lee
Ol' Jack Hoff was gettin' off when he mumbled and stumbled and started to cough
And his vein went hard and he went soft
And they say that's the way how ol' Jack Hoff O.G.'d

Spoken:
You mean O.D.
No.... O.G.
Oh man what's that?
That's when you O.D and you say Oh Gee!

1...2...3...4...

Tom McCann was sittin' in the sand by the ocean
Tom McCann looked into his hand and found a jelly-roll
Tom McCann was feelin' grand, all the girls were lickin' his hand
He's a heel but man, oh man, everybody knows that Tom McCann's got soul

Spoken:
Its over
No it ain't
No it ain't either, here it is again

That's really the end