Chorus:

I'm the Queen of the Sleazy Tabloids
I Rule the Trashy Kingdom
Like Lady Di They Make Sure I Am Never Left Alone
Papparazzi and Reporters Stalk Me From the Shadows
Making Sure to Kepp My Royal Assetts On My Throne

Oh They Talk About the Lovers
That I Keep Undercover
And I Wish That I Was As Much Fun
As They Have You Believe
Just Like Alec Baldwin
I'd Love to Whack 'em All One
But Instead I'll Wait and See
Who I Am Sleepin' With Next Week

I'm the Queen of the Sleazy Tabloids
And I Rule the Trashy Kingdom
But the Rumors Raise My Cue Score
And Pay For My Big Home
I Guess I 'augt to Sue Them
But Instead I Guess I'll Use Them
To Keep Me in the Spotlight
And Keep Me On My Throne

Cause I'm the Queen of the Sleazy Tabloids