I don’t want to be awake again
I spend my days with my head in my hands
If I go outside I’ll fall apart
I am mostly scared of passing time
The world it seems gets more unkind
Inevitable tragedy will soon be mine

I am looking for an easy place
To mask my thoughts behind my face
Oh brown baked column of victory
Maybe I should just pack up and run away again
And let you forget that you were once my friend
Then watch another go on and do better without me

But I could not go away, not if I wanted to
I can hide from friends but I cannot hide from you
These chemical reactions are dividing me
Self-deprecating thoughts are interrupting all the time
Emphasizing all the traits that I wish weren’t mine
They speak louder than everybody
I try to keep my eyes closed as my outlook isn’t bright
Compulsively complaining when I haven’t got the right
I hate the way that I think and act
I want to end reality but I feel hesitant
Optimistic that the future will be
More concerned than the present
And so for today I’ll remain intact