Hey, Kids! Onions here!
And let's have a real good time!

Oh, yes! Sure feels good to get down off that stick
A scarecrow's life can get pretty monotonous
Especially when you can't scare anything
I can't even scare a Tufted Titmouse, now! now!

They call me onions, because I'm sure to make you cry
They call me onions, but I'm just a regular kinda guy
They call me onions, I go great in someone's soup
They call me onions, but I don't live in no coop!
I got a shed instead

Now, every once in awhile
I do get carried away I must confess
I do like to pull on that corn, you know?
Once in awhile up here scaring crows all day
Well you get a little thirsty and then all
Of a sudden, you just start ta, lose it

They call me onions, I'm sure to make 'em cry
They call me onions, but I'm just a regular kinda guy
They call me onions, I don't make for very good breath,
They call me onions, I'm bound to be the death of somebody

Now, what we do is we take the body parts,
Well every once in awhile, a few body parts
We all got some body parts lying around,
And we put 'em in a big burlap sack,

And they're full of unions, see
And we sew the sacks back up
And we throw them in the back of the truck
And drive on to the warehouse in Arizona

And a, and a Woody Woodpecker Laugh!