Serve me my food with a plate that's on fire
And we'll have a hot time tonight
And if you feel low and life may seem dire
Things will turn out all right

Cover your mouth up with butterscotch sauce
And we'll have a sweet time tonight
And if you feel low and life may seem lost
I promise you we'll never fight

And if the straightjacket fits, then lock me up tight
Cause I'm feelin' nutty tonight
I got padded walls, a soft rubber bed
I'll kiss you till I lose my sight

If you crawl in bed and there's a cactus inside
Things could get prickly tonight
We'll pull out the needles and then we'll shoot up
And we'll get as high as a kite

And if the straightjacket fits, then lock me up tight
Cause I'm feelin' nutty tonight
I got padded walls, a soft rubber bed
I'll kiss you till I lose my sight