I can't take it
Another unhappy day on this planet
All my friends
Can't stand them
They all got degrees in political science on insta-
Grampa called me an asshole and chuckled
As if he'd known it's the last time I'd see him
I've been letting myself go
My friend disagreed (but I think that she's in the same boat)

I'm not as drunk as you think, right now
'Cause I still haven't texted my ex-girlfriend yet

It's not as bad as you think
I'm on a casual bender

I just fake it
Another wet handshake to give to your parents
Make amends
For Past things
I might as well have a degree and a mastеrs in acting
Parents lasted for 20, my Brother did 2
I'm shooting for 3 whеn I'm 50
I've been taking up yoga and I don't feel down dog, lately
But I keep my shirt on!

I'm not as drunk as you think, right now
'Cause I still haven't texted my ex-girlfriend yet

It's not as bad as you think
I'm on a casual bender

It started like a stupid fucking carrot on a stick
Chasing you, and maybe I'm just thinkin' with my (ha-ha-ha)
So what's it that makes you so cyclical?
You prob'ly think I'm too typical
So what's it to you
If I wake up dreading the thought of something to prove?
Nothing compares to that feeling of something new
One day this room might stop spinning
But I'm still convinced that I'm winning

I can't take it
Another unhappy day with my habits
All my friends
Can't stand me
They all got degrees in psychology when they come check on me

It's just as bad as you think
I'm on a casual bender
It's just as bad as you think
I'm on a casual bender

I'm not as drunk as you think, right now
'Cause I still haven't texted my ex-girlfriend yet
I'm not as drunk as you think, right now
'Cause I still haven't texted my ex-girlfriend yet