Traveling in circles
The world's a sinking oyster
And my bed's become unfathomably white

Oh, working, working, working, working
Dream about the cloister
And occasionally get out to see the sunshine

Oh, then I see him at a distance
He is devilishly handsome
He is charming and impeccably dressed
He has a little black bag with him
And what's in it isn't certain
But I'm going to take an educated guess

Oh, I'm starting to feel faint
Like a lady in a movie
Oh, someone fetch ammonia and some towels
Oh, but it needs to be administered
By a fella who is registered
Is there a doctor in the house?

Doctor Oz, Doctor Oz, Doctor Oz
Doctor Oz, Doctor Oz, Doctor Oz, Doctor Oz
Show me how they treat you in the South

You call this arctic bullshit summer?
It's a sad excuse for weather
And I want to crawl and live inside the couch
Oh, but despite the bitter chills
And the difficultly breathing
There's a fire in my stomach and it won't go out
Until I'm traveling in circles
And the world's a sinking oyster
And my bed's become unfathomably white

Oh, working, working, working, working
Dream about the cloister
And occasionally get out to see the sunshine

Could it be an illness
I've contracted from the business?
And could it be transmittable by mouth?
Oh, you my friends are witness
As I try to kick the sickness
Is there a doctor in the house?

Doctor Oz, Doctor Oz, Doctor Oz,
Doctor Oz, Doctor Oz, Doctor Oz, Doctor Oz
Show me how you do it in the South